What If Your Self-Doubt Is Built On Fiction? How insecurities limit us
I saw him, he saw me. A moment of curiosity, maybe even a spark. Then my mind jumped in—“He didn’t notice you. Don’t be ridiculous.” And just like that, I stayed silent. But what if my mind was lying?
Science suggests it probably was.
THE MIND VS. REALITY
Psychological research shows that when we find someone interesting, there’s a strong chance they feel the same. Studies on the reciprocity principle reveal that people are more likely to be attracted to those who express interest in them (Dittes & Kelley, 1956). The mere exposure effect suggests that the more we see someone, the more we tend to like them (Zajonc, 1968). And the Zeigarnik effect tells us that unfinished interactions linger in our minds—meaning if I kept thinking about that moment, maybe he did too.
But in the moment? My mind didn’t care about the research. It told a completely different story.
THE MISSED MOMENT
I stepped outside to wash my hands. A few seconds later, he walked out too—right next to me, also washing his hands. It was the perfect moment to say something. A simple comment, a smile, even just eye contact.
But insecurity whispered: “He’s not interested. It would be awkward. It’s not appropriate.”
So I did nothing.
And in doing nothing, I guaranteed the outcome I feared most: nothing happened.
THE MATH OF TAKING ACTION
Let’s break it down logically:
· If I had acted, I had a 50% chance of success (if not at least 51%)
· By doing nothing, I had a 100% chance of failure.
And yet, insecurity convinced me that doing nothing was safer. But was it? Because the real risk wasn’t rejection—it was staying trapped in self-doubt and reinforcing the habit of hesitation.
HOW INSECURITY LIMITS US
This isn’t just about a missed opportunity—it’s about how self-doubt shapes our entire lives. It keeps us from speaking up, taking chances, and growing into who we’re meant to be. We assume rejection before it happens. We tell ourselves stories that aren’t true. And in doing so, we stay small.
But what if we stopped listening to insecurity? What if we challenged our own assumptions and took action instead?
“What fictions is your mind telling you?”
HOW THERAPY & COACHING HELP YOU BREAK THROUGH
Self-doubt isn’t just something to “deal with”—it’s something you can overcome.
Therapy and coaching aren’t just for people in crisis; they’re tools for growth, confidence, and self-liberation. At Consciousness House, we help people break free from limiting beliefs, rewrite their inner narratives, and step into their full potential.
Personal Journal prompts :
· How many times has self-doubt stopped you from doing something you wanted?
· What’s one action you can take today—despite insecurity?
· What if the reality is better than the story your mind is telling you?
AN OPEN ENDING…
I’ll never know what could have happened that day. But I learned something: even missed opportunities can teach us. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll run into him again.
In the meantime, I choose to step out of my comfort zone.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
Hey, Why wait? Book now a free consultation and take the first step toward breaking free. It costs nothing to step out of the self-doubt imprisonment you’ve created for yourself.
Sources:
Reciprocity Principle:
Study: Effects of Different Conditions of Acceptance upon Conformity to Group Norms by J. Dittes and H. Kelley (1956). Link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/13345577/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Article: The Reciprocity Principle: Give Before You Take in Web Design by Nielsen Norman Group. Link: https://www.nngroup.com/articles/reciprocity-principle/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_and_political_philosophy)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology)
Mere Exposure Effect:
· Study: The Attitudinal Effects of Mere Exposure by Robert Zajonc (1968). https://cdn.isr.umich.edu/pubFiles/historicPublications/Theattitudinaleffects_2360_.PDF?utm_source=chatgpt.com • · Article: Mere Exposure Effect in Psychology: Biases & Heuristics by Simply Psychology.. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4490210/
· https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4490210/
Article: The Zeigarnik Effect: How Unfinished Tasks Affect Your Thinking by Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201212/the-zeigarnik-effect
